After her mother’s death, Janet wrote that she was glad she was too upset to eat. “At least I feel thin and valuable and good about my body,” she wrote, “my littleness.” But some time later when she went out to dinner with friends, she ate everything they ordered and downed a bottle of sake. Later realizing she might throw it all away, she recalled feeling “triumphant”, thinking it was “the beginning of something good”.
Excessive drinking to aid her bulimia became a habit. as filming Sam and Cat After she was injured in 2014, she just assumed she’d have a bulimia-induced heart attack. “It’s hard to admit,” she wrote, “but a part of me really wishes I did. Then I wouldn’t have to be here.”
He realized she was drinking five to 10 times a day and eight or nine shots of alcohol each night. Identifying red carpet anxiety as one of her triggers, her eating disorder therapist started with events with Janet—which followed a pattern for a while: binge food backstage and on the way home. crying in the car
Eventually she fired that therapist over the text, still haunted by her childhood trauma. The bulimia continued and Janet’s teeth began to rot. Spitting a molar in the bathroom on a flight to Sydney, Australia to do press for Netflix — followed by an Uber driver playing Ariana’s “Focus on Me” in the car upon her arrival — was a wake-up call. Her next doctor assured her that relapses were common on the way to a long recovery.